"Parting of loving someone is learning to let go"

!LOVESTORIES

{Friday, January 27, 2006}

lunar new year is creeping closer & closer... Not joining the gang tonight @ M.O.S... I dunno why, felt like going & not on the same time. I wonder why should i be there since i would not be dancing & not drinking much too. sigh~ Last time it was for the company but now.. i guess i changed somehow..
As i type this, some stuff came across my mind. Was it bcos the more i was forbidden to go last time, the more rebellious me wanted to break that & join in the party. Now? I am able to join them yet its me now who doesnt felt like it..

Human minds are contradicting... wth..

Sad story agaiN! I found this really sweet, simple white with slightly pink ribbon tube dress... Guess what.. LAST PIECE again.. 2 pieces on display. WTH!
one with a gapping hole at the seam & one with the "fur" coming out.. grrr....

sobs.. left the shop feeling so dejected..

i wish you understand more at 3:28 pm

{Wednesday, January 25, 2006}

8.05pm and im still in office and not @ police training... Stupid animal import coming in tonight.prays that it wun be in only at 11.50pm kind like last time. argh!
whats with my whole day? busy busy busy...

Clementi got nothing to shop at all.. wanted to kill some time before coming back to office. but ended up staying there for less than an hr.. n i spilled bubble milk tea on my hand. >_<"

tralalalalalalal.... im bored.. real bored.. n lonely..
are you a kind soul to come and stay by my side?

i wish you understand more at 8:06 pm

after a great dinner ytd nite, i then found out there are SNEAKY people reading up my blog after all.. wahahaha... now i noe.. =)
sneaky sneaky sneaky
but i like.. hahaha..
TAG ME LAR!

and people complain i dun update everyday.. reason being is i was lazy, lazy & more laziness. plus its kinda boring to hear me rant bout hockey, work & home everyday ya? *winks*

im not so on about one man show at all.. but i just got to be one today...argh!
one on mc, one on leave & one on course... >_<"" Having a attachement student to help me with the cage changing do help in the labour part. But... cage arrangement was sorta messed up and recording also not sure..
im having a headache now n im not too sure whether it was due to this morning hectic.

Sheenaaaaaa wanted to drag me to police training tonight! hais..........
laziness kicks in, tiredness acts up.
should i? shouldnt i?

bleah.. IM SO HUNGRY!!
give me some food anyone? =)

i wish you understand more at 11:10 am

{Tuesday, January 24, 2006}

i think i have developed a new type of phobia, mayb a few
To name;
runningphobia
hockeyphobia
newcoachphobia

grrr...
now im so afraid of turning up at trainings and run that 300m x5 and 200m x 5

im sucha wimp
sue me... *sobs*

Not totally done with my new year clothes shoppin
Just 1 more last min trip to town this sat
*finger cross*
Finally found the heels that i wanted, I think its not those fantastic-sophisticated-whatever-you-wanna-call-it type, but having it out of stock in several branches definately meant something... =)
n it doesnt matter that i will wear the same heels as others
i got it reserved and prolly make a trip dwn this sat before 5. But hopefully the lady got the correct article number. Cause it just sounds so weird that her article & mine missed 2 number.
-sigh-

I missed the boy and he can only come out on SATURDAY. What a long wait.

i wish you understand more at 4:29 pm

{Sunday, January 22, 2006}

jus came back from the boy hme
lugged a bagful of edible goodies back
his mum gave, n it was damn heavy!
i was really tired
n being a good ger, i took bus instead of a cab

out with the boy yesterday for CNY shoppings
no movies to watch so we left ps

PS -> Taka -> pepper lunch -> Wisma -> Lucky plaza -> CK Tangs -> Scotts -> Far East Plaza

Everything/ Anything that we saw and liked was either the last piece which was tried by others so many many many many times or out of the size we wanted..
Grrrrr... so many times i felt like screaming and says i give up...
The boy and I thought we might just end up at home with ntg in out shopping bag

But i managed to get 2 tops and a skirt... =)
not too bad for me, but bad for e boy..
i jus need some mix & match ard here

Whereas today, it was kinda opposite
The boy got a very nice engineered levis jean and a levis belt
The boy spent quite an amount there
im still trying to "Ka-Pok" his $20 gift voucher for spending 200 buckeroos & above
After which he got himself another shirt at addidas

now im stuck cause i still cant another skirt that attracts me.. =(

who wanna go shopping me with me?

Looking fwd to the meet-up with peizhi & gang... =)

i wish you understand more at 10:08 pm

{Thursday, January 19, 2006}

2.08 year

34 months

1034 days

24 820 hours

1 489 200 minutes

did i get it, right?

i wish you understand more at 12:40 pm

back at work place after a half day leave on tues plus a full day leave on wed

missed nat trial on tue
heard they do lotsa running
wonder wat are they gonna do tonight
*prays*
coz im tired.. real tired frm e previous days

hurting ankles
weak body
tired eyes
sore throat
uclers

dint noe i had bruises on knee cap till i bumped them
mus b all those kneeling from 8+ till late afternoon of 5
up dwn up dwn

grandma passed away for a yr already
ytd was the traditional ceremony for her
set up a "ling wei" for her, i think so?
or was it "ling pai"

watever. its jus so fast time passed
new year coming

what have i done after poly
not much
grrrrr....

i.m.t.i.r.e.d

puiyee... leave ur link!!!

i wish you understand more at 11:46 am

{Monday, January 16, 2006}

hmm...
quite free in e office now....
Not much cage changing to be done today
recaps recaps recaps

had a tiring day on sat
went dim sum with my whole family at crystal jade, taka
was super hungry cause i dint eat on fri nite
y dint i eat? cause i was pissed off and to repeat what went wrong is too tedious
just that friday the 13th aint too good for me
Jus plain shuay on that day

my mood was initially quite good
but appetite was totally gone when a full glass of water spilled right onto my poor 7610
sobs.. sobs..
nevertheless, i ate my xiao long bao.. haa

off to SGH to visit my uncle
sleepy afternoon for everyone
tot can rush hme for a game of MJ before gg off to fren bdae
too bad, gotta go Jurong to pick up some stuffs
not enuff time by that time i reached hme
went straight to Yio Chu Kang to meet xl, diana & shaun
Nice gathering at Clare's bdae. =)

spent e nite away from home..
n sunday was well-spent with the boy though we went out quite late
watched memoirs of geisha
not too bad for a movie, diff i guess

back to his hse for sudoku
n some "fun"
hee.. *sneaky smile*

anyway, dint noe it was e luanr bdae for sis n dad
they had steamboat at home
cake uncut
coz i reached hme exactly at 1am
=X woopsy
dint noe bout it till sis smsed me when i was in the boy's car
but... she bought durian puffs from Goodwood park hotel
YEA!!! my fave durians... =)

shall rush home to acc sis for Mahjong n my duly desearved durian puffs
y? from e "hard" work of the trials
HAA! i made that up
sorry for being cranky

hee

i wish you understand more at 12:43 pm

{Thursday, January 12, 2006}

how long more can i hold on?

do i still feel, can i still feel?

have i given up, unknowingly

and yet im still clinging somewhr

somewhr, i tot wld change something

can someone gives me some hope

jus a little, not much

i wish you understand more at 2:37 pm

{Tuesday, January 10, 2006}

home whole day
rotted and grew quite an amount of moulds at hme
mood not very good

bad things looming over my head
bad thoughts
bad thoughts
bad thoughts

really hope i can starts studying this year and stop wasting my time
but what course shd i take up
should i go overseas? but im afraid i wldnt survive

what is my future?

trials tmr, thurs & fri
guess i cant even hit a 9 on the list
fear of failure
fear of disgrace
perhapes i shd just leave
perhapes my passion is no longer there

I am weak now
having attempted to
cry out all feelings and
emotions for you:
In one breath you
make me smile and cry
in one phone call you
lift my spirits and
plunge me into depression
Your voice can build up
my hopes and shatter my dreams.
You leave me wondering, yet
disenchanted.
How you do it,
I'll never know.
And that you do it,
I'll never breathe a clue.
At least not to you.

sorry for the incoherent

i wish you understand more at 8:57 pm

hunger causes insomia, really

n.o.s.t.a.l.g.i.a too

craving for a hot chocolate since early morning
raining day makes a cold day
and a cold day makes you crave for sweet smelling hot chocolate

a pity that no one will be there to get one for me
kinda mood swing-ing again
in the mode of pms-ing, middle

one moment sweet, one moment bitter
one moment loving, one moment hating
one moment happy, one moment sad
did i really expects too much?
little things that the boy cant accomplish for me
i feel angry and sad
i feel unloved

gosh...
demanding, insatiable hunger for more obvious love
what is wrong with me

i just feel like kicking the wussy one in me out of my body
and say, hey.. stop inhabiting my body and cause me so much pain
hockey no longer numbs me
im bored, weak n tired

I feel like escaping
to where?
I dunno
I only pray that the boy will give up on me
im hopeless
really

i wish you understand more at 1:14 am

you love me cause you need me?

or

you need me cause you love me?

i wish you understand more at 1:12 am

{Thursday, January 05, 2006}

dragged into things that i dint noe of
who is to judge
gulity or not?
perhapes there is no gulity
misunderstanding & miscommunication
no position to talk bout it
just hope friends will still b friends

Chatted with a common fren online
we are concerned & worried
Hope all will be fine
and one fine day
we will be back on the same table having supper

Tears
Some tears are rain
At the end of the day, Come as relief
To wash grime away.
Others like storms brew
With venom increasing
Light flashing fiercely, Hatred releasing.
But mine . . . are so hitter,
They're hidden . . . so deep,
I laugh in the daytime,
To cry, when I sleep.

i wish you understand more at 4:14 pm

{Wednesday, January 04, 2006}

happy new year everyone!! though little reads mine blog

new year eve was spent in KL
watching fireworks rite in ur face at 35th level of the hotel
missed e start n the excitment that it pops rite in frnt of u
y? cause an idiot like me went to bathe at 11.55 ++ pm..
>_< heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......
no shopping done in m'sia at all
basically jus an outing out of sg
went genting n kinda wasted $ la
-sigh-
my gang wasnt e shopping kind
nevertheless, at least there is a change
e boy went up with me n im glad
end.of.m'sia.update

new year, expects new changes
but none for me, i still feel quite e same

only difference is that there is a constant pain in my tooth
had my braces put on ytd
top & bottom at the same time
tight, uncomfy, pain
food is liquidfied.. -gaps-

new yr resolutions?
-none-
perhapes 1 or 2?
study
braces

but everything boils dwn to money money money
what can one do w/o it?
pratically nothing since everything is so ex!

so i gotta work now
in an animal "house"
filled with mice, rats
added with rabbits, pigs, guinea pigs, tree shrew etc

for how long?
im not sure
cause i aint saving up
money in money out
fast n swift
how to save?

i need a part time
*roar*
how to pt when i got hockey
perhapes stopping hockey is better for me
since i got braces
n im scared of getting u-noe u-noe?
education impt

mayb i get a rich bf n marries him?
or i strike 4D, toto, lottery etc
WAHAHAHAHA

AHHHH!!!
haven been running agaiN!
im so dead dead dead
beep test haven done
n the trials coming
guess i can only fail it
n kick me out!! =)

i think im in a craze mode now
KILL ME!

i need painkiller 1st
cussed the pain

i wish you understand more at 11:33 am