"Parting of loving someone is learning to let go"

!LOVESTORIES

{Thursday, July 20, 2006}

hello people.... i noe u guys misses me so much.....
that sheena had to settle me down in front of the com to blog... MUAHAHAHAHA!

actually i should la hor? Since im like staying indoor almost everyday..
-sigh- temperature here is like 36 degree. i will be like roasted once i get outside & the nearest bus stop is like more than a mile here. (ps: they go by non-metric terms here such as mile, pound, dime, penny, nickel etc that its driving me crazy!! lol)

so no car no go out lor. Er jie'car cannot be used by da jie cos the stupid hertz said no more names can be added to the car lor... (aiyah.. very diff to explain here)
but we getting a rented car soon... hopefully. So i can get out and not spend 2K tic here to sleep, eat, watch tv n online...... muahahahhaha....

Okiedoo....

Baiscally, we landed in the JFK airport which is the nearest to NY city...we spent 2 days there. Actually less than that la..

We went to statue of liberty, but dint go into the statue as the quota for that day was reached. Took abit of the picture and dint really walk much.

Went to ellis island, where it showed us how the immigration process was carried out last time. The population graph of the people from different part of the world migrating there. N countries from asia is increasing in the late 90s till now! they are currently ranked 2nd after dunno which region... hmmmm... rich people.. sheesh....

We went to NYC n walk walk lor... I cant rem the building name la... hahaha... NYC is basically to see culture of life there... no shopping!! -SIGH-

we went to the famous brooklyn bridge & the tall tall building, empire state building... Its 102 storey high, we went to the i think 86th level.. Additional cost to acess 102nd level which we dint go la.. Basically, its showed u the whole of NY lo... Very magnificiant sight! TOO BAD it was grilled up n i cant take nice nice pics... :(

After NYC, we gotta go back er jie place which is in Virginia, manassas... Its quite a long journey. But along the way we stopped by Atlantic city. That whole stretch was casino, hotels and the famous atlantic beach...

we went into one casino known as balleys.. i played the jackpot n lost ard USD25. LOL!!! sheesh.... i am unlucky! n joined USD5 with my sisters to play some guessing number, spinning gamble. We testing its probabilty la. But i guess the table manager bluff us that that number was coming out. *!^%!#$%^&&**((^$##
fun.... fun.... fun.... no age limit lor... anyone can like go in n play..
Oh, n we touched the atlantic ocean.... heeeheeehee... once again... a very nice view... ~wheee~~

travel like dunno god noes how many hrs before we reached manassas... GOsh~ moi butt hurts and i got nowhere to lean back n sleep.. =S

1st 2 days was stay in day. er jie too busy to drive us around as they have alot of stuffs to complete before they leave in 2 weeks time.. -sigh-

i jus went to washington dc ytd, walked around the whole day and nearly got heat stroke! sheesh... head was so painful i tell u.. grrrrr.....

we went to capitol, looked at the white hse from afar, alot of memorial places and alot of museum.. N i went into one holocaust place where it showed adolf hitler ww2 history... weet~

cruelty i tell u... the things he did to the jewish.. eeeuk....

its those see see walk walk la. i cant rem what i have seen too anyway.. hee.. *bish*

okiedoo.. tts all for now.. =P

they planning for a trip to the nigera fall this weekend.. YIPEE!!! =D

i wish you understand more at 10:21 pm

{Thursday, July 13, 2006}

The Bottom Line
You're starting to understand something -- give yourself more time to figure it out.

In Detail
The pieces of a particularly vexing puzzle finally start to come together today -- but whether or not you ever finish it isn't terribly important. The answer won't change your life. What is most essential is the act of solving and the process of understanding -- so give yourself the gift of time to figure things out. Enjoy the act of asking questions, sorting through information and calling the results as you see them. Only you can share your unique perspective.

hmm.. izzit hinting anything?? *shrugs*
mayb i really need time to figure it all out. haa!

i wish you understand more at 2:31 pm

its weird that its like less than 12 hrs, im gg for a very long holiday in a faraway country..
im not in the least excited mood. No anticipation.. nothing...
what is wrong? Im trying to figure that out.

The sister asked me in the car this morning, so are you kinda EXCITED to be leaving tonight? i jus had a straight no.. She was surprised.. i AM too if you dunno. WTH man?

grrrrrr................. I had a gut feeling that it had something to do with my hormones. Yes, im pushing the blame to my hormones.

I do not what to expect and react at the airport. I do not have the urge to see you..
what am i to say?
what am i to do?

urgh.. disgustingly disgusted with myself. *pui*

i wish you understand more at 11:52 am

having a spilting headache. Is that how you describe it as in spliting spliting?
my luggage not even halfway thru yet. I really have no idea what to throw in. Its been ages since i went for a trip. HAA!
Work as usual for tmr. Hope i can make it in time to get home though. =)

I have devised a weight gaining and losing regime for myself.

++ Weight losing aka dieting aka save some money ++

1. eat instant noodles for lunch everyday

2. skip dinner at home as you have not much energy left to eat ( Remember you only had instant noodles at work!)

3. what people eats, you dun eat

4. mouth itchy and wanna have a bite too? down lotsa water, surf the net and entertain urself with music from your stomach orchestra

5. walk about alot in the morning during the cage changing and offers to check all the room by urself.

++ Weight gaining regime ++

1. have whatever you can find in the morning and eat some before going to work and not forgetting the milo my dad / mum made

2. have some lor mai kai, siew mai and chix bao plus choc milk from the canteen for your morning tea break

3. go for a heavy lunch and rush back to office for a nappie

4. after lunch, slack at ur table and surf the net, try not to move around. This is fantastic for a round belly build up. =) it works!! for me..

5. try not to shit so much, mayb it can add some weight ma.. buahahahahahhaha

i think i crapped alot. Jus to take my mind off some stuffs... -sigh-
headache is forever here! shite...

i wish you understand more at 12:14 am

{Tuesday, July 11, 2006}

06.39pm now. Am still in the cold office all alone.
waiting for sis to fetch me. Its drizzling i suppose....
my mood really swings very fast.
i kinda like being alone.. with the music at the background...
n have a good sleep..

I do not wish to think of anything, do anything or talk about anything.
guess im focusing on my escape outta here very soon.. very soon.. 2 more days..
i have no answer and i wish there wun be any pressure for one.

i guess i can catch a nappie b4 sis comes...

i wish you understand more at 6:43 pm

{Monday, July 10, 2006}

i will stick by the "qiang yan huan xiao" sayings.. =)

anyway peeps.. i read my horoscope online...
i was kinda dunno wat to say la to read the 1st line...

The Bottom Line
Watch yourself carefully right now -- you need to avoid pushing anything too far.

i tot that gotta something to do with what happened lately... but as i read on further to clear my doubts... this is what it says...

In Detail
There's nothing wrong with pushing yourself, but be sure you maintain a balance between what you have and what you want to have. Your eyes are becoming bigger than your wallet, and if you push things too far, you may get a nasty surprise in the form of an unexpected bill or emergency payment. Watch your spending and challenge yourself to tighten your budget. Time spent adjusting and reducing your material desires will prove profitable.

hahahahahha... so its just about money. Yes.. i may not be rich and yet im going away for sucha a expensive holiday with my family. But im glad to be able to spend it cos.. family is precious. N im sure that i will enjoy this trip with them... Just a pity my bro cant go cos of his thesis...
Finally i came to realise that no matter who have been so close to you, will leave you one day. But family stays with you no matter what.. Till the day either you dies 1st or vice versa..
Although i knew that they will be there for me.. it never felt so true till today.. =>

I love them.. n im a happy blessed girl.. =>

i wish you understand more at 11:11 am

{Sunday, July 09, 2006}

chinese word "qiang yan huan xiao" means forcing oneself to smile while deep down that person is feeling very low, very sad etc etc...

just now, i was playing with jiahui.. I asked her alot of questions where none is the correct one. (Actually she knows the answer) but she busied with some little stuff she had on hands, therefore cant be bothered with me.
So i said... "ni hen ben lei" and she followed suit like a parrot... ni hen ben lei.. So i had a little kiddy bickering with her of "ni hen ben".............. daddy came in and heard.. N started saying you cannot say this in front of her mummy lei. "shen wei ren mu"(meaning as a parent/mother of the kid)hearing people saying her child is very stupid is not a very nice thing. They will feel hurt etc. Basically, its not a good thing and very impolite.
So i told daddy, but i won't be that stupid to say that to her mum. And we are just playing with one another..
Dad just says... "yea.. im just telling you lah... As a parent, you won't feel good lor"

Mummy was just beside me cos i was on the bed you see.. N i gathered she must have heard our converstation. I remembered about the "jian nu ren" thing if you read my previous post.
So i woke my mum up from her slumber (She falling asleep) and asked her... "So, if someone calls your daughter here "jian nu ren" you will also feel sad and hurt la?" N she replied by nodding here a here and a barely heard "yea"..............................................

i feel loved.. cos i have a mummy here who cares for me... =) so daddy is right...!!

n so do what i said in my previous post is right too.... However angry one can be, however wrong someone can be... Being a fellow human.. you have absolute no right to scold someone that.... FURTHERMORE.. that person was a girl. Its worst if the person who scolded her is someone so close to... I dunno what else to put in lah..
Its just very hurtful.... -sigh-

i wish you understand more at 11:42 pm

my fone died off on me last nite....
n after a night of recharge while i tried so hard to sleep, i was totally ___fill-in-the-blank______ to receive those messages..

******************************
i woke up this morning and while i was lying on bed.. I got this acute sharp pain right in my chest... Which side is the heart arh? ur left? Hmmm.. it felt so painful that it scared me alot alot... Sounded alot like the heart attack syndrome i always heard about... You guys may think that its impossible la. BUt its TURE!!! anyway, i calmed myself dwn and take a deep cough n many many deep breathing etc.
Do you know by taking a deep deep cough, you are actually helping your heart artificially pump?? This is a self help heart attack scenario............... => I wonder izzit related to what happened last night.. -sigh-

Sis hse warming was a success i guess. I was her runner for yesterday! 3 tables of MJ, hse full of people that i got nowhr to sit! supposed to leave ard 630 but ended up leaving at 8! was totally late for alvin's bdae dinner. =) really glad to attend it and was glad that they actually waited for me to start the dinner. 8 other people waiting for me. Its nice to have these friends...
We all paid a certain amount and the rest was put as "angbao" money for him.
Marina Sq was the next stop... the girls went for the arcade while the guys went for their pool..
It was nice catching up with ting. i dunno why, its just felt so comfortable with her around ever since secondary school. I can be totally frank with her....
We re-lived our secondary & working acarde life. HAHA... I still loses to her though in the shooting games etc... HAHAHAH!! IM THAT LOUSY!

Had a loooong chat with her... She still very sad over her ex-relationship. 3 long years. But unfortunately i gotta go since it was really late. But cant help seeing her so sad. I guess some stuffs are not meant to be said over the phone nor msn. But something happened and it made me stay again.. Ended up bowling with them! haha.. Another fun thing i liked to play with ting too!! =D we are the "lesbian" couple back in school then! *lauGhs*

***********************************

That girl was called a slut... 贱女人... Hahahaahahhahahahahha.... *whoops*
If you were that girl.. how would it feel like?
How would the one who gave birth to her felt like should she know that her daughter was called a slut.
I guess even in the moment of fury and anger and impulsive-ness.. It was still a harsh word to use.
Thats y people often says what said cannot be taken back, what done cannot be undone, what hurt cannot be healed.
Yes... you may think that she hurt you. she betrayed you.. she lied to you... you hated her alot. She just a human at the end of the day. Why cant you stand in her shoe n think? Does it make her feel good being told to do that?
I guess its still no use. she will still be the one at fault cos she doesnt listen to you.. She betrayed you.

************************************

WHEEEEE~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
another 4 more days. I will be outta this sunny homeland!!! dun miss me people..... dun think i will be doing much shopping! unless u can sponser some to ah-xiu fund! her $ all spent on that bloody air ticket.. sobs sobs...

something cropped up. wahahahahahahahh!!!!!
i guess i still could go on for the trip frm 9-14th. I will make the plan on my own, i will make my own way there... even if im alone. Im 22 anyway ppl.... right? I should be more like an adult and no more a child.. i should. I should learn to be independent more. =) i should...

************************************
sometimes i wonder who do i ever lived for? Have i been in a shell all these while? Only to show a mask to everyone?
who is to show me the way?

i wish you understand more at 1:23 pm

{Tuesday, July 04, 2006}

happy birthday to the old girl here. *hahahaha*

thank you for all the birthday well wishes.. =)
to people like:
to the boy who left a birthday message in my friendster. =)
kel n cookie who "sang" me a birthday song at 12am of 04/07 on msn. *laughs*
ah leng who not only send a sms but also PUT my name on her nick. HAA!
Viper who sent 2 messages seperately. =>
peizhi, sheena, fen, yee, van, martiah,wendy, zijun, ah bao, nette, crystal, yuting, xianhui, kokyew, yanqiu...
i hope i haven left out anyone.

im a happy girl.

Gifts till now;
roses + dinner & half sponsered shopping spree in tw by the dearest boy =)
a havana slipper from kelly
a swatch watch from the workplace

whee~~~~~~~~~~

what more can i ask?
i got people loving me so much.
wahahahahah~~~!!

THANK YOU!! =>
*muacks*

woooOT!!! not forgetting the other ones who came my hse with a cake!! =D
thanks kiat, gerard, xiaoling, sheena & van!! heh heh....

thanks thanks thanks thanks..... =)

i wish you understand more at 12:57 pm