!LOVESTORIES

{Tuesday, February 28, 2006}

do you ever feel so tired that you felt like giving up?

each time as you overcome a stumble u made along the journey of life, you thought to urself.. hey, that was great and you thought you have achieve another understanding to yourself as well as the people close to you. Thinking that better days were to come and you would be happily living on.

Yet you found that happiness does not last long enough to make you step on another obstacle and you fell again. countless times? you pick yourself up and you stumble. Life is never perfect and yes, falls are inevitable.
But is some stuffs worth giving up?

i do feel like giving up. for a couple of things.
it weighs me down and i do not know how to carry on.
i wish "mental" strength, "physical" strength comes as easy as eating some veggie or meats.
for i know deep within me, i do not wish to give up.
be it on you or on it.

i wish you understand more at 8:46 am

{Sunday, February 26, 2006}

tired & tried

person 1
absolute bitch.
it made you wonder was it thru underhand politics u played that gotten what u r today?

person 2
absolute bastard.
what can you say? what can you do?
nothing..
but feel the hurt when you see the person

person 3
idiotic bitch.
what can i say to these people?
urgh!

person 4
i rest my case
it seems like i cant be understood and likewise for you

pissed mad sad unhappiness anger sympathy tired tried boredom


where am i?

i wish you understand more at 2:30 pm

{Tuesday, February 21, 2006}

i do not know why and what happened to me yesterday
that i broke down suddenly in front of him while we were doing somthing or watever you can call that

was it depression like what he said?
jokingly it may seem, but what if its really true and you find me underneath some blocks next time?
sprawled on the floor in a pool of unsightly blood?

was it the guilty concious acting up?
not towards the boy but rather towards the people you are closest to, ie, your parents?
it came so sudden that i doesnt know how to react and wat was the pushing factor behind my tears
perhapes its in my subconcious

i wan to refuse but he doesnt understand
i wan it to be free of these stuffs

what can be done? how can it be done? when will the understanding comes?



i wish you understand more at 2:47 pm


pain ache pain ache pain ache pain pain pain ache ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain pain pain ache ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain pain pain ache ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain pain pain ache ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain pain pain ache ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain ache pain pain pain ache ache pain ache pain ache pain pain pain

in deep suffering jus being bugged by this two

i wish you understand more at 2:40 pm

{Friday, February 17, 2006}

swing swing swing swing


the mood swings itself up and down


n the person suffering from it cant do anything


now here you see it again as it swings...

i wish you understand more at 5:10 pm

{Wednesday, February 15, 2006}

no valentine to be with on a valentine day?


not to worry cos u can always count on ur hockey mates... Had a wonderful dinner with them at REDHILL MARKET last nite. hehe.. ordered quite an amount of food.
But me having the stupid braces on firstly cant bite hard or chewy food e.g. the cuttlefish, secondly cant eat fast too due to multiple ulcers and thirdly talks too much or rather having to answer questions hence, couldnt finish my satay beehoon. Not to mention having a hearty helping to the "hao jian" & rojak "tau pok & you tiao". -sigh-
but nevertheless, its the company and chat that counts. =)

how did the fly died? waahaha.. lame..


Y dint i have a valentine on the 14th of Feb?
cause the boy is in CAMP! grrr... cause he got field camp on the 15th and he the PC in charge.. =S

he did his part cause the sweet boy gave me a surprise on the eve of valentine day!
I was already anticipating his surprise since he already kinda "hinted".tats wat i thought so.

1. he said he might come find me at nite during the afternoon sms-es
2. he asked me not to eat too full when i was having my dinner

early evening he msged to ask me out to meet him but i was too tired and hence went to sleep. Missed his sms-es till he called me. in e end, he asked me to continue sleeping. will give me a call later on..

no call... so i called him late evening when i woke up and he told me he was out with his friend.
tts when he asked me not to eat too full. i was excited awaiting his arrival. but as time tick tocked itself away.. my faith was wearing off.

so i started MJ-ing with my family members... lost a huge amount of $. which i think i definately need to stop MJ. at least for a half a year or more. he msged me that the wait for his bus back to bedok camp was very long. it dint occur to me at that point of time that why was he waiting for the bus near his place when he told me he was out with his mate in town? hmmm.. stupid me believed him and i was sad.. or rathe dissapointed.

after some rounds into the MJ, my fone started to ring.
It was the boy and i tot he was jus telling me he reached camp.
but...... he asked me to look at my door.
i saw something hanging there. n my bro started laughing and scolded me stupid & slow la.. my sis started to make fun of me too..
HEE... there he is my boy
Standing right outside the window looking at the blur ger, me.


happy happy happy
man, i was surprised to be surprise by the boy. =)


i will never forget the ROYCE choc & BAKEZINN cake...

heh heh..
good one aint it? rather sweet right?







i wish you understand more at 3:52 pm

{Thursday, February 09, 2006}

depressed & guilt stricken
my close next-door-neighbour passed away last nite

being a first aider me...
argh.. everything a blur now
thinking of what i could have done ytd nite
he might have a slight chance of survival
fuck

a life gone
his image deeply rem in my mind
i cant shake it off
i cant erase the memory

wat can i do now?
i feel like its all my fault

and to those with asthmatic frens
always have ur med within reach
always see the doc shd u have difficulty breathing
do not drag
do not not like going to the doc
please...

for somthing to b gone
is fast & swift
u do not have time to react
ppl ard u do not have time to react

ur brain starts to die after 4 mins deprived of oxygen
u r considered brain dead after 10 mins

fragile

i wish you understand more at 12:07 pm

{Wednesday, February 08, 2006}

oh yah...
forgot to add on...

"you got only a chance to take a shot in the D, make good use of it"
since only one chance, so i have to take at any angle that im caught in yea? SO....... i hit it ACROSS my body...

y not?
y not?
y not?
aint it suppose to be training & learning the seemingly impossible stuffs?

BLEAH!

i wish you understand more at 11:32 am


teeheehee...

mood is still good jus by thinking back... =) even though it wasnt like ytd scenario..
hee hee hee...


rat room was horrendous! pure HARD LABOUR...
heavy, and i meant real heavy
smelly
alot alot alot of cages
grrrr... *ROAR*

my body is already breaking apart from ytd sprints (yea, i noe it might not be significant to some), it meant hell to me considering i haven been doing running all these while. sobs.. my arm went numb after like 3-5 sprints? *shivers*

i wish you understand more at 11:26 am

{Tuesday, February 07, 2006}

ahhh.. y do blogger have to undergo maintainence jus as i was to publish my entry!
but its not gonna spoil my happy mood for today.. =)

i guess im in a very happy mood this morning.. n im still is now.. hehe.. =)
it was the msg you sent last nite.
heart warming
its those kind of msg that as you read it, unknowingly a smile spread across your face kind. You get what i meant?
i had a very good sleep after which. did you?


a little more happiness added to last nite msg while on my way to work this morning.. =)
heh.. i wun divulge wat was it.. n its meant to be kept deep deep...

uneasiness from the look yet tinge of excitment silently creeps up... side by side... face to face...
was i thinking too much? was i too sensitive?
nevertheless.. i hope nothing spoils my good mood for this morning..

N i sincerely hope i can survive tonight training.. kinda weird that my body cant take slight exertion anymore. it leaves me in total aches n pain later on. *shrugs*


looking fwd to fri bbq at sneaky person place. =) i will there early to help out. Just give me a call aye?
but it seems like it still CNY, sneaky person... so i have to bring along mandarin oranges? wahahaha.. tell me ya?

hee...


tralalalalalala....


i wish you understand more at 12:22 pm

{Friday, February 03, 2006}

168 days
it will b fast
real fast before you know it
couple day
our day
ur birthday
my birthday
freedom

i wish you understand more at 4:28 pm


hey mate,

i know you might not even read this post but still im dedicating a little post for you today.
you said you are honoured to have mates like us but dint you know we are even more honoured to have you as our friend too?
you had my admiration mate.


i salute you
for your courage
for your determination
for your undying passion for the sport you played
for your never say die attitude

i have known you since i was 14 but it wasnt till the recent years that i have gotten know you better. A senior like you is so precious and rare to come by. And it shames me to reflect back on myself that im giving up so easily. i will try to stay on.
to prove what old simple-minded, narrow-minded man wrong.
Lose-lose situation for us it may be. but we will fight on together with you & for you.

you have came a really long & tiring road till today. Each time proving your worth to a new coach for someone your size.
To be denied a place once again today is simply heart wrenching. Mates beside you feels for you. you may not have shed a single tears in front of us but we all know your heart is shattered into so many countless pieces, trying to make us not to worry for you.
I am very apologetic im not very good with words but you simply have my support in whatever you do.

world is never fair and will continue to be so.
top management not at our level will never know how things work and simply using some excuses, they made a person's dream shattered. For the benefits of their own thinking it will solve the recurring problems that they have faced all these bloody long years.
The support you want will never comes for its you guys who made the whole thing so f**ked-up.

to eeyore: have faith in your mate for we all know she will be back once again proving her worth to all odds.

i wish you understand more at 11:27 am

{Wednesday, February 01, 2006}

how was your new year? mine wasnt so good and it kinda gets more & more boring each passing year. Does it also signify that im aging too hence new year is for young kids? *shrug*

Didnt do any new year visiting cept to the boy's hse, eeyore & siuhua place.
this also mean my ang bao collection is duper low. haaa...

and on third day of new year, i tried my 1st gamble on mahjong and i lost almost half of my ang bao $$$$$.. sobs...
fortune for this year is bad bad bad. so i shd cut dwn on MJ ya? heeehee...

so lethargic @ work today.. head spinning.. weak legs...
n i broke a large water bottle.. *piang* all shattered even though i tried to use my leg to save it (as usual) n i got a hard knock on my shin instead. Wat a day to start off with. sobs...
n im gonna kill mice & rats later on for serology testing..
AHhHhhhhhHhHHhH.. killing on new year.. so sinful.. lol..

more update if i feel like it later on..
teeta...

i wish you understand more at 1:59 pm

!THELOVED

mOon`
forever 21!
4th July



!<3
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*sniff*
company of friends
the humblepiers
slacking & rotting
hockey

!have

hallucinative mind
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Study study study chance
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!HISTORY
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